Full disclosure: it is April Fool’s Day and I wanted to have a bit of fun, so this is a riff of my post about miscellaneous things you can use as a bookmark.
Please—and I really mean please—do not take any of this as serious advice, or think that I am a complete imbecile. This is all just for fun, and I hope you can get some amusement out of this post, like I currently am whilst writing it.
Rip Pages Out
One you’re done with a page, who really needs it? It’s not like you’d ever want to read it again or give the book away, or anything of that nature. So you might as well just rip every page out once you finish reading both sides.
And hey, you’ll have an ultra-compact book by the time you wrap the story up. Talk about space efficient!
Chewing Gum
This is great because you can chew your gum and then stick it between your pages when you need to set the book down. And then, once you return to reading, not only is your page marked, but you now can enjoy your chewing gum (with newly added paper and bacteria included).
Glue Pages Together
This somewhat combines the two options above. For each page you finish reading, just whip out some glue and paste it to all the previous ones. That way, the entire portion of the book you’ve read is one solid mass of paper.
Tape
Like those sticky notes that people attach to the outer edge of their documents, and even sometimes their novels (if they’re the sort who are into annotating things), just use some tape similarly.
Sure, it might completely rip a page in half when you try to remove it upon returning to the book. But maybe you can just attach those two halves back together… using tape.
Fold the Entire Book
You see people do this sometimes with paperbacks. The fold it right around until both faces of the cover are now touching, and basically crippling the book’s spine forever.
You can take some inspiration from this. Simply fold the book all the way around, set it flat with your left-off page upright, and press down nice and hard. Once you hear the entire spine crumble and snap under your weight, congrats, you’ve now successfully marked your page!
Use Another Book
Reading a novel and want to mark your page? Simply stuff an entire novella or short novel inside your current one. Sounds like a great excuse to always have two books nearby, too.
Dirt, Gravel, or Sand
Perhaps you went out in public and forgot your bookmark, ‘Oh no!’ you think, but there is nothing to worry about. Simply take a clump of dirt, gravel, or sand from the ground and slap that between your pages and press your book tightly.
I’m sure it’ll be perfectly fine when you get back home and crack your book open again.
Once again, this post is obviously just a joke and borderline pointless, but that’s what April Fool’s Day should be about. I’m sure people can think of many other stupid ways of making pages.
Anyway, happy April Fool’s!
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